What exactly is Romance?

     I posed this question the other day and was surprised by the stuttering and stammering which came back at me. While everyone seemed to have their idea of what a romantic gesture is, no one could pin down what Romance really means.

     Everyone wants their partner to be romantic on some level. Responses of romantic gestures people wanted from their partners included things as simple as opening a door for them to as complex as planning a romantic vacation and surprising them with it.  Coming up with things they wanted romantically was not a problem, getting them to answer why they wanted those things was a bit tougher. 

     It seems everyone claims to be a "hopeless romantic" but they are not sure why. Even I like to be on the receiving end of a romantic gesture. It may seem a little odd that a man actually wants to be romanced from time to time but it's true. It was during a moment of receiving such a gesture that I asked myself why it was so important to me.

     Stripping it down to its barest form, I think it is simply wanting and needing to feel special. When your partner goes out of their way to show you, even in the subtlest of acts, that they are thinking of you and your well-being, it makes you feel significant in their world. If they leave a note for you on the countertop as they rush out the door, it reveals a moment in time where they stopped everything they were doing to make sure you knew they were thinking of you. What I have discovered in my conversations with others is that these romantic gestures are a dying art. 

     Personally, I'm a bit baffled by this fact. After-all, we send text messages and emails all day long to business associates, friends and family; so why not our lovers? I don't mean the, "What do you want for dinner?" text messages but the, "I can't wait to be in your arms again." messages

     Even after years of marriage, togetherness, or whatever you call it... we tend to fall out of lust and lose our romanticism. That's the biggest problem I'm seeing today amongst couples. The disappearance of Romance in a relationship was described to me this way more than a few times: "Once they have you, they feel they got you and they don't have to work at keeping you." Is that true? I guess there's a part of me that when you're involved with someone you're serious about, those kinds of gesticulations should come easy and never go away.

     I mean, if we are truly in love, wouldn't we be trying to show it in the least obvious of moments?

     What I would like to hear from you is what kind of things do you find romantic? What is your definition of Romance? In the meantime, I’m polishing the first “Dance of Romance” short story to be unveiled on Valentine’s Day so stay tuned!

All my best,


  1. I may think differently than most, but romance is in the subtle, everyday things that are done to make your life easier. Security is key! Getting up early in the morning to take of your child and allowing the other to "sleep in", doing the laundry, cooking each other a meal, just simply knowing that you have one person in this entire world, that will ALWAYS be on your side, holding you up and supporting your decisions, no matter what! That is romantic and I would never want to live without it.

  2. romance. the art of making love without touching.

  3. I completely believe with both of you. The simplest of things can be the most romantic sometimes. Letting your partner know they are close to your heart even when they are not around.

    "the art of making love without touching." Brilliant!