I "Luff" You!

     How often will we fall in love during our lifetime? Will we really truly fall in love as many times as we think? Or are we only fooling ourselves?

     How many times a day do we say we “love” something? “I really love that shirt!” or even, “I love the hamburgers at Five-Guys!” Some of us even, "...love watching reruns of Sex and the City!” Then, with the same auto-pilot temperament, turn to our significant other and profess, “I love you.”

     In most cases we really do love that person, but we also love that shirt and the hamburgers at Five-Guys. Because of this ambiguity, I came up with another word besides Love to use with my Soul-needle. The next time (last time) I fall in love – true love – I am going to hold her close, look deeply into her eyes and say, “I Luff You.”

     Silly? Maybe. But it’s something I’ve never said to anyone before. It will let that person know she has something from me I have never given to anyone else. I have to let her know that even though I love that dress she’s wearing, I luff her.

     I thought I had tasted true love in the past. I believed I held it right in the palm of my heart. I held it tight and didn’t let go for awhile. Everyone thinks love is elation and comfort and security. It can also reveal past pain and regret and grief. There’s a reason the heart is the symbol for love; because that’s where you feel the pain and exhilaration of love. Wives clutch their hands to their breastbone protecting their heart when their husbands pass away. Men pull their children’s heads to their chest to comfort them. Girls hold their hand over their heart while being proposed to; feeling the palpitations which prove to them it’s real. In good moments and bad, when love is real, the heart processes it.

     I had a pretty warped sense of love not long ago. I felt beaten down by so-called love yet still pined for its veritable existence. I guess it’s called falling in love for a reason because at some point you hit bottom. The exception is when someone actually catches you before you hit. That’s the person who has proved their love. I felt I was falling every day. Not in love but just falling through life, waiting to be caught. Waiting for that one person to catch me and let me know they will never let me crash again.

     I am amazed at the people I have discussed this with in the past year or so who are in relationships for the sake of being in a relationship. I can understand that to some extent. Hell, I’ve been guilty of it. In the past, the need for me to share another’s company in my life or another’s body against mine was to the point of excruciating. Fortunately my head had conditioned my heart over the last couple years to not fall for superficiality any more. To stop letting the perfunctory pull of lust and basic human need drag me into what would ultimately become regret. It was hard…so hard, but I believe in Karma. I believed once I convinced myself to stop hanging out in the shallow end of the pool and go deeper, it would pay off. I was picky, oh so picky, about whom I would give my hand, my body, my heart and my life to again. It’s an odd thing for a man to say; especially this man.

     I’ve been drilled on this and guy friends had tried to influence me in other directions but I held my ground. I felt like Adam some days in the Garden of Eden. It wasn’t easy resisting the apple but the hand which held it didn’t belong to the person I saw myself walking through the rest of my life with.

     Luckily for me, my patience paid off and I proved my friends wrong. I’m a believer now. The relationship trials I had gone through in the past have become small prices to pay for having found my Soul-needle. I’ve now spent time at both ends of the love spectrum and as we all know, the end filled with promise, hope and unconditional love is certainly where we all want and deserve to be. I hope you have found your Soul-needle. If you haven’t, give it time. It’s a hard thing to do, but the payoff is worth it.

     I will continue to share my stories, both past and present because I have always been fascinated with love and all its facets. In the meantime, I’m going to meet my Soul-needle for lunch. Afterward, when I drop her back at her office, I’ll turn to face her and with an extra little squeeze of my hand, look in her eyes and tell her, “I Luff you.”



  1. Great post! I agree, the word 'love' is used for just about everything. In other languages it is not that way. In Greek, there are different types of meanings for the word love. I think it is sad that we would use the same word to show adoration for an activity or inanimate object to a person.


  2. Señorita,

    You're absolutely right. Because we use the word Love so frequently in everyday life, it tends to get watered down by the time we look our lover in the eye and say it. We use other ways to express that love through romantic gestures, gifts or silent touches but sometimes there needs to be a way that love is spoken and written which hasn't been done and proves to your partner they own a part of your heart others never knew was there. What other languages use more than one word for love?

    Thanks for your comment and I look forward to hearing more from you!

  3. The romance languages like French and Italian have different ways of saying love. For example, in Spanish you can say 'Te quiero', 'Te amo'... If you used these terms with an inanimate object or activity or anything human, it would not make sense. In other languages it is understood that the feelings that one would have towards a human being can not compare to anything; feelings towards a person overshadow the feelings one would have towards random things...